I was chatting with my friend discussing what men can see in some women. Some girls are ridden with fluctuating emotions, crazy past experiences and an insane 'he's-got-a-restraining-order' boyfriends. My friend and I are two relatively grounded, secure, content, problem-free females (with no insane ex-boyfriends might I add). We can chat, have a laugh and be good friends with males. But does it just stop there? Does our first impression just slowly fade away? Are we lacking the contagiousness of damsel-in-distress-itis?
Damsel-in-distress-itis: Commonly known as Cinderlla-syndrome. When a female, suffering self-inflicted or other trauma, exudes an alluring waft, attracting heterosexual men who seem to have no other choice than to save them and conquer trauma. Damsels in distress (DID) can be found crying in stairwells, putting broken hearts in their display name or wandering the gutters with a broken high heel.
Do women have to be going through a bad break up, suffering from a broken friendship, depressed in some way, to attract men? I accept the fact people bond over deep and meaningful conversations, over late-night phone calls, over crying on shoulders, but does mean the plain, happy damsels (PHD's) miss out? Now back to personal experience, I've been a bad person. When I get mad, upset, stressed, suffer some sort of drama, I just feel the need to "accidentally" tell Mr X, which is what we shall call him. I just have this idea that if I open up, be vunerable, ask for advice, trust him with my emotions, that this will allure him, flatter him or somehow rub off on him. But I never have, because it's insincere on many levels and I'd be doing it for all the wrong reasons. Plus, my depressing moods never last long enough for me to cry to him anyway.
But is the waft of a DID insatiable? And do the PHD's get overpowered by the strong scent that seems to follow these females around?
But maybe it's something more general. Maybe, if a man can get a woman through saving her and making her happy, its like the relationship version of working for and earning your first $1000. Maybe the relationship just feels more special, knowing that the man has helped out a poor, delicate girl. Or maybe the PHD's give off a different waft; a waft that doesn't seem to need help... or a man. PHD's are repellents! Independent, self-assured women need lovin' too. I guess they just don't go crying about it to everyone.
During the conversation with my friend, I also brought up another point: 'I like to save men though'. And, after saying that, I've learnt so does my friend. It's always nice to save a guy. You feel useful, acknowledged, important. I want to be the girl that he opens up to, that he cries to, that he depends on and confides in. Maybe the PHD's have another purpose; to save the men who aren't too busy saving the DID's. DID's are used in questions, to signify uncertainty, the unknown, even allure and magnetism, but PHD's are there to save lives, no matter what. And, to quote countless TV doctors, "They don't call me a PHD for nothing".
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Lessons in Self-defence
EMOTIONAL DISCLAIMER: I was pissed AT JUST ONE PERSON when I wrote this.
Why is it that when a friend says "I look disgusting today" do we all feel the need to coo soft words of comfort and confidence to make her feel better?
Or when a friend says "I did shit on a test" we all need to say 'Aw, nah honey! You probably did fine!"
Has our soceity become so delicate and sensitive that we can't say "You do look like shit" or "Well, you do suck at persuasive arguments"? In other words, have we become too sensitive to tell the truth? I've started to notice other people defend me from myself. If I say I look shit, I look shit. I'm not bothered by it; I'm merely making an observation. When I say "No, he wouldn't like me" it literally means "No, he wouldn't like me". But instead, people seem to think I'm seeking words of support and validation. I get treated like those chicks that are like "Oh I'm so ugly" because they want their friends to say "OMG NO YOU'RE NOT".
I don't need people to defend me from myself. I don't need kind words to make me 'feel better'.
With that said, I seriously do appreciate and admire the valiant efforts of friends to save me from myself. Maybe I am too harsh on myself. But others seem to be more hurt by opinion on myself than I am. Maybe they don't realise that I'm not seeking comfort, just an open ear to listen to me, and accept what I have to say. I always feel like an ungrateful bitch when I think these things, and explain my arguments. Because I don't need sympathy, because I'm fine.
Maybe I'm seen as a no-confidence, low-self-esteem teenager, just because I accept the truth about myself. Because, when I look shit in a photo, I say so; because I don't make excuses for doing a dodgy performance, or getting a crap mark.
It bothers me because I feel people are just lying to me, treating me like a delicate flower, and clinging to the tiniest of chances, just because they, somehow, think I can't handle the truth. I find that insulting in numerous ways. I feel insulted it when people say insincere things; I feel insulted when I'm percieved as something fragile, breakable, a 'damsel in distress'; and I'd be especially insulted if people didn't think I have enough sense-of-self and balls to accept the truth.
Me: 'Lols man I look crap there'
Person 1: 'Stop saying that. You're beautiful'
WHILE THAT'S LOVELY AND EVERYTHING, I can see what I look like. Don't patronise me.
So since I've thoroughly convinced you I'm an asshole, I can now tell you about the walking hypocrisy that is myself (Ah, did I almost trick my no-readers into saying 'aw no. you're not an asshole' even though this argument supports the fact I plainly am?)
When my friends are upset over things, I'm always willing to be a confidence booster. While people mercilessly slander themselves, I'm always willing to stop them. But when people are insincerely insulting themselves for scraps of sympathy and assurance, aside from the fact that's a confidence problem in itself, I'm rarely tempted to say anything.
I think it all comes back down to truth. If people are saying untrue things about themselves, then that's where I step in to right the wrongs; to truth the untruths.
Why is it that when a friend says "I look disgusting today" do we all feel the need to coo soft words of comfort and confidence to make her feel better?
Or when a friend says "I did shit on a test" we all need to say 'Aw, nah honey! You probably did fine!"
Has our soceity become so delicate and sensitive that we can't say "You do look like shit" or "Well, you do suck at persuasive arguments"? In other words, have we become too sensitive to tell the truth? I've started to notice other people defend me from myself. If I say I look shit, I look shit. I'm not bothered by it; I'm merely making an observation. When I say "No, he wouldn't like me" it literally means "No, he wouldn't like me". But instead, people seem to think I'm seeking words of support and validation. I get treated like those chicks that are like "Oh I'm so ugly" because they want their friends to say "OMG NO YOU'RE NOT".
I don't need people to defend me from myself. I don't need kind words to make me 'feel better'.
With that said, I seriously do appreciate and admire the valiant efforts of friends to save me from myself. Maybe I am too harsh on myself. But others seem to be more hurt by opinion on myself than I am. Maybe they don't realise that I'm not seeking comfort, just an open ear to listen to me, and accept what I have to say. I always feel like an ungrateful bitch when I think these things, and explain my arguments. Because I don't need sympathy, because I'm fine.
Maybe I'm seen as a no-confidence, low-self-esteem teenager, just because I accept the truth about myself. Because, when I look shit in a photo, I say so; because I don't make excuses for doing a dodgy performance, or getting a crap mark.
It bothers me because I feel people are just lying to me, treating me like a delicate flower, and clinging to the tiniest of chances, just because they, somehow, think I can't handle the truth. I find that insulting in numerous ways. I feel insulted it when people say insincere things; I feel insulted when I'm percieved as something fragile, breakable, a 'damsel in distress'; and I'd be especially insulted if people didn't think I have enough sense-of-self and balls to accept the truth.
Me: 'Lols man I look crap there'
Person 1: 'Stop saying that. You're beautiful'
WHILE THAT'S LOVELY AND EVERYTHING, I can see what I look like. Don't patronise me.
So since I've thoroughly convinced you I'm an asshole, I can now tell you about the walking hypocrisy that is myself (Ah, did I almost trick my no-readers into saying 'aw no. you're not an asshole' even though this argument supports the fact I plainly am?)
When my friends are upset over things, I'm always willing to be a confidence booster. While people mercilessly slander themselves, I'm always willing to stop them. But when people are insincerely insulting themselves for scraps of sympathy and assurance, aside from the fact that's a confidence problem in itself, I'm rarely tempted to say anything.
I think it all comes back down to truth. If people are saying untrue things about themselves, then that's where I step in to right the wrongs; to truth the untruths.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
assorted pastries?
I just feel like eating assorted pastries. and I'm also feeling the weird, big ass jumble of emotions againnn. And each assorted emotion signifies an assorted pastry. gah. I feel ALMOST stressed, but too calm for my liking. I'm getting increasingly slack and relaxed and UNBOVVAD, but I still get jittery and nervous during random conversations. I feel like I have nowhere to go, even though I have to decide in a few months. I feel so confidently smitten sometimes, but others times I just feel hopelessly pathetic. But I definately feel like I'm changing as a person. I think it's just what the final year of school does to you. It's like enocouraging you to break free and go be liiberratttedd.
I suppose it's all worth it. I'm into emotion. Makes for good inspiration. WHICH IS WORKING FOR ME, seeing as i've finally started my art major yayaya.
But yeah. I don't know whether I'm happy or if I'm sad. WAIT. I just had a revelation. I think I'm avoiding EVERYTHING, from assignments to emotion. I haven't had a good cry in ages, because I don't wanna think about all the stressful little nigglies in life. Or am I just making a problem for myself? Ugh i'll think about it later. AHH SEE. AVOIDANCE
Is this good for me? Should I go analyse my thoughts, like I used to, or is postponing the breakdown better for you?
*doesn't bother answering*
AH SEE
I suppose it's all worth it. I'm into emotion. Makes for good inspiration. WHICH IS WORKING FOR ME, seeing as i've finally started my art major yayaya.
But yeah. I don't know whether I'm happy or if I'm sad. WAIT. I just had a revelation. I think I'm avoiding EVERYTHING, from assignments to emotion. I haven't had a good cry in ages, because I don't wanna think about all the stressful little nigglies in life. Or am I just making a problem for myself? Ugh i'll think about it later. AHH SEE. AVOIDANCE
Is this good for me? Should I go analyse my thoughts, like I used to, or is postponing the breakdown better for you?
*doesn't bother answering*
AH SEE
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
GARHG
Okay
so being a teenager, in grade 12, in a generation full of overly-thoughtful and emotionally-accident-prone people, you get a fair share of listening to and hearing about peoples problems and shit.
And right now, i just feel so bad for them all; so bad that i'm not gonna bother with proper grammar in this blog.
But it is unfair. It's unfair that numerous loving, kind, unique, somewhat shy individuals never get what they want, whether it be a boyfriend or a girlfriend or an invite to a party. It's unfair that, even if you try and be the best person you can be, you don't feel you're reaping the promised rewards. It's unfair, no matter hard you try, you just fail miserably for everyone to see. It's unfair that, the first time they open up and have a serious emotion, they get knocked back and told off. You get the idea...
but to all those people feeling disillusioned and feeling like they should just give up and not give a shit:
DON'T
okay. because there's nothing i admire more than someone who always does the right thing and doesn't just choose the easy way out. if anything, you know at least i'll think you're fabulous.
if i wanted i COULD throw myself on men, get drunk and get a cheap glimmer of affection and closeness and passion.
if i wanted i COULD try and suck up to teachers to get a better mark.
if i wanted i COULD just drop out and get a job as a truck driver.
if i wanted i COULD try and hang around the 'popular kids', so i would have more 'friends'
but i don't, because i have self-worth, a conscience, self-respect and a little, iron-hard resolve to not just settle for 'average'.
i'd rather have no boyfriend than lower myself to a disgusting level
i'd rather achieve my good marks, not schmooze my way through life
i'd rather finish grade 12, go to university and give myself a challenge than take the easy way out
i'd rather act like myself, not settle for mediocrity and befriend people who actually like ME, even to the point of being a complete loner.
With that said, i know too fucking well how hard it is to continue to think that. i look at these people, arrogant, bitchy, rude, thoughtless people. They get their man, they get a bunch of friends, they always have a good time, all the while being complete fuckfaces to anyone who isn't 'totz hot' and a 'mad cunt' and 'fukin maggot'. And all this happens while i sit, watching from the sidelines, trying to be a good person and choosing to use the power of conversation instead of letting my tits do the talking.
maybe people with even stronger beliefs than me will win the lotto in 10 years.
i hope it fuckign pays off though
EHhhh
do i sound like an asshole?
i'm an asshole
and my english draft is due tomorrow
if tits could come in handy in respects to assignments... *vaguely considers*
no i fully lie
=)
stay strong people!
on a lovely note, i'm also completely smitten. he's amazing and im dazzled
but i can get SHOOOK outta that mood quickfast
sigh
goodnight
so being a teenager, in grade 12, in a generation full of overly-thoughtful and emotionally-accident-prone people, you get a fair share of listening to and hearing about peoples problems and shit.
And right now, i just feel so bad for them all; so bad that i'm not gonna bother with proper grammar in this blog.
But it is unfair. It's unfair that numerous loving, kind, unique, somewhat shy individuals never get what they want, whether it be a boyfriend or a girlfriend or an invite to a party. It's unfair that, even if you try and be the best person you can be, you don't feel you're reaping the promised rewards. It's unfair, no matter hard you try, you just fail miserably for everyone to see. It's unfair that, the first time they open up and have a serious emotion, they get knocked back and told off. You get the idea...
but to all those people feeling disillusioned and feeling like they should just give up and not give a shit:
DON'T
okay. because there's nothing i admire more than someone who always does the right thing and doesn't just choose the easy way out. if anything, you know at least i'll think you're fabulous.
if i wanted i COULD throw myself on men, get drunk and get a cheap glimmer of affection and closeness and passion.
if i wanted i COULD try and suck up to teachers to get a better mark.
if i wanted i COULD just drop out and get a job as a truck driver.
if i wanted i COULD try and hang around the 'popular kids', so i would have more 'friends'
but i don't, because i have self-worth, a conscience, self-respect and a little, iron-hard resolve to not just settle for 'average'.
i'd rather have no boyfriend than lower myself to a disgusting level
i'd rather achieve my good marks, not schmooze my way through life
i'd rather finish grade 12, go to university and give myself a challenge than take the easy way out
i'd rather act like myself, not settle for mediocrity and befriend people who actually like ME, even to the point of being a complete loner.
With that said, i know too fucking well how hard it is to continue to think that. i look at these people, arrogant, bitchy, rude, thoughtless people. They get their man, they get a bunch of friends, they always have a good time, all the while being complete fuckfaces to anyone who isn't 'totz hot' and a 'mad cunt' and 'fukin maggot'. And all this happens while i sit, watching from the sidelines, trying to be a good person and choosing to use the power of conversation instead of letting my tits do the talking.
maybe people with even stronger beliefs than me will win the lotto in 10 years.
i hope it fuckign pays off though
EHhhh
do i sound like an asshole?
i'm an asshole
and my english draft is due tomorrow
if tits could come in handy in respects to assignments... *vaguely considers*
no i fully lie
=)
stay strong people!
on a lovely note, i'm also completely smitten. he's amazing and im dazzled
but i can get SHOOOK outta that mood quickfast
sigh
goodnight
Saturday, March 14, 2009
I actually went through with my words...
I went out and enjoyed life!
Blogspot is magical. It's like 'Ask, and you shalt recieve!'. My friend had a house warming, so what's more alluring than a brand new, empty apartment, full of teenagers on Friday the 13th?
It's just so tempting. But I feel insanely guilty for dropping my friends camera. And now I wish I had enough money to pay for the repairs, or a new one. I'll have to borrow from the parents. And to clear the air, I feel bad for actually fucking up my friends camera, not because of the money factor. I guess thats my come-uppance for not working and mooching of my parents. BUT THAT WAS NOT MY OWN PERSONAL CHOICE. My parents won't let me work, see? I need to get a job!
On another note, I'm trying to use all my positive attributes to seduce someone. MUAHAHAH. But seeing as I'm awkward and pathetic, it evens out wonderfully. ;D
But, like every Friday night/Saturday morning, I have very vivid dreams. Probably because I finally get enough sleeping time to go into that DEEP SLEEP frame. This time my Dad was this sadistic torturer mind-conquering nutjob who owned a store that sold torture-goods and guns and shit. My mum was all meek and just lived with Dad murdering people, my brother got into believing what he did was okay, and I was the revolutionary who keep getting tortured and made to dispose of the bodies because I kept trying to escape, change my families' minds, and stand up to my Dad. And, like the other dream I mentioned in a previous blog, I woke up bawling my eyes out. BUT I NEED TO STRESS MY DAD IS, IN NO WAY, LIKE HIS DREAM COUNTERPART. He is an amazing daddy and I love him =).
Then I had a second dream about myself being forced into arranged marriage, because I was a Mormon or something. And there was many Mormon volleyball games?
At least that dream wasnt fucked up.
So I ended my last blog with little things that make me happy. I woke up this... afternoon, saw the Froot Loops and squealed in delight. I'm an easy-to-please kinda woman =D
Blogspot is magical. It's like 'Ask, and you shalt recieve!'. My friend had a house warming, so what's more alluring than a brand new, empty apartment, full of teenagers on Friday the 13th?
It's just so tempting. But I feel insanely guilty for dropping my friends camera. And now I wish I had enough money to pay for the repairs, or a new one. I'll have to borrow from the parents. And to clear the air, I feel bad for actually fucking up my friends camera, not because of the money factor. I guess thats my come-uppance for not working and mooching of my parents. BUT THAT WAS NOT MY OWN PERSONAL CHOICE. My parents won't let me work, see? I need to get a job!
On another note, I'm trying to use all my positive attributes to seduce someone. MUAHAHAH. But seeing as I'm awkward and pathetic, it evens out wonderfully. ;D
But, like every Friday night/Saturday morning, I have very vivid dreams. Probably because I finally get enough sleeping time to go into that DEEP SLEEP frame. This time my Dad was this sadistic torturer mind-conquering nutjob who owned a store that sold torture-goods and guns and shit. My mum was all meek and just lived with Dad murdering people, my brother got into believing what he did was okay, and I was the revolutionary who keep getting tortured and made to dispose of the bodies because I kept trying to escape, change my families' minds, and stand up to my Dad. And, like the other dream I mentioned in a previous blog, I woke up bawling my eyes out. BUT I NEED TO STRESS MY DAD IS, IN NO WAY, LIKE HIS DREAM COUNTERPART. He is an amazing daddy and I love him =).
Then I had a second dream about myself being forced into arranged marriage, because I was a Mormon or something. And there was many Mormon volleyball games?
At least that dream wasnt fucked up.
So I ended my last blog with little things that make me happy. I woke up this... afternoon, saw the Froot Loops and squealed in delight. I'm an easy-to-please kinda woman =D
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Blarffugnal
I made up a new word JUST THEN ^^^ Don't you think it perfectly represents an angsty, love sick, stressed out, lost teenager? I like it =)
But whateverz. I'm happy. It's nearly the weekend and I've finished all assignments due in the next... couple of days. So no cause for celebration, I suppose. BLARFFUGNAL! I NEED TO START MY ART MAJOR.
I'm so tickled by that word.
Now to get down to the venting of emotion that blogspot lives on, this year is whizzing past. We have block in 2 weeks, which means term 1 is nearly over, which means we're already a quarter of the way through my final year of school =o
And we've gotten our Senior jerseys. Now when I see people with them on, I can barely recognise them because they look so adult-like. I dont feel like an adult! I feel exactly as I did in year 9.
Do things have to change one you leave school? Do people just naturally grow up, or is it forced up on them? I can still see myself laughing at the word 'come'. And to think in like 5 years time, I'll be in the work force. I'LL BE TENDING TO YOUR NEEDS. That freaks even me out.
BLARFFUGNAL Am I expected to NOT laugh at 'come'?!
Another thing that worries me is that adults ask each other out easily. I can't even act normal around people I find pretty. How the fuck will I survive? Is it normal to crush on people when you're 22?
I feel like I haven't lived for 16 years. 80% of people my age seem so much more experienced and grown-up. They do whatever they want, all in the name of fun. They've learnt lessons on things I just generally avoid, like drinking and forgetting what happened, or getting busted for sneaking out by their parents, or losing friends due to crazy, strange and random situations. I suppose it is worth it, in the end. There's nothing more valuable and interesting than life experience. But do I have to go through a bunch of shit to feel grown-up? Or is just living on the straight and narrow fine? It's that age old quote: Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Except we need to make it more y-generation-ey: 'Better to have drank and forgotten a good time, than to have never attended the party in the first place'
I have less than a year to clear the air with everyone (well I'm thinking of someone in particular) and stop being an emotion-coward. I have less than a year to grow some thick skin. I have less than a year to have a decent resume of life experiences that I've been too innocent, uptight, righteous, moral or bland to partake in.
I'm scared.
But, I'll look on the bright side. Something as trivial as a weekend makes me happy. So as long as I have a steady stream of weekends in years to come, I should fare alright =)
But whateverz. I'm happy. It's nearly the weekend and I've finished all assignments due in the next... couple of days. So no cause for celebration, I suppose. BLARFFUGNAL! I NEED TO START MY ART MAJOR.
I'm so tickled by that word.
Now to get down to the venting of emotion that blogspot lives on, this year is whizzing past. We have block in 2 weeks, which means term 1 is nearly over, which means we're already a quarter of the way through my final year of school =o
And we've gotten our Senior jerseys. Now when I see people with them on, I can barely recognise them because they look so adult-like. I dont feel like an adult! I feel exactly as I did in year 9.
Do things have to change one you leave school? Do people just naturally grow up, or is it forced up on them? I can still see myself laughing at the word 'come'. And to think in like 5 years time, I'll be in the work force. I'LL BE TENDING TO YOUR NEEDS. That freaks even me out.
BLARFFUGNAL Am I expected to NOT laugh at 'come'?!
Another thing that worries me is that adults ask each other out easily. I can't even act normal around people I find pretty. How the fuck will I survive? Is it normal to crush on people when you're 22?
I feel like I haven't lived for 16 years. 80% of people my age seem so much more experienced and grown-up. They do whatever they want, all in the name of fun. They've learnt lessons on things I just generally avoid, like drinking and forgetting what happened, or getting busted for sneaking out by their parents, or losing friends due to crazy, strange and random situations. I suppose it is worth it, in the end. There's nothing more valuable and interesting than life experience. But do I have to go through a bunch of shit to feel grown-up? Or is just living on the straight and narrow fine? It's that age old quote: Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Except we need to make it more y-generation-ey: 'Better to have drank and forgotten a good time, than to have never attended the party in the first place'
I have less than a year to clear the air with everyone (well I'm thinking of someone in particular) and stop being an emotion-coward. I have less than a year to grow some thick skin. I have less than a year to have a decent resume of life experiences that I've been too innocent, uptight, righteous, moral or bland to partake in.
I'm scared.
But, I'll look on the bright side. Something as trivial as a weekend makes me happy. So as long as I have a steady stream of weekends in years to come, I should fare alright =)
Sunday, March 8, 2009
*growl*
I'm so fucking uninspired and disillusioned. I hate it. Especially when you're supposed to be doing like 4 persuasive ssays, and an effing Art major. I feel like I'm stuck in a complete rut. Nothing new is happening. I just want this year to be over so I can leave and be stranger in a new land. That sounds good. But argh, I'm mainly sick of myself. I wish I could find a way to entertain myself. This weekend I've just been like watching DVD's and cmnt-ing people. I wish I could stir something up and have some fun, or something. I guess I do need to take matter into my own hands. But I know I won't, seeing as I'm a coward =)
I keep having crazy dreams, when I feel wanted. Then I wake up bawling my eyes out.
The other night I dreamt my school was in anarchy; people were drinking and smoking and breaking things. And a particular person noticed me and held my hand. And it was lovely. Then the dream changed, and my baby in my dream died, and the only reason people gave a shit was because it made them lose their appetite. Hence, waking up shaking with tears.
Eh. I'm too disenchanted with life that I don't even want to figure out a possible metaphor for all of that.
I keep having crazy dreams, when I feel wanted. Then I wake up bawling my eyes out.
The other night I dreamt my school was in anarchy; people were drinking and smoking and breaking things. And a particular person noticed me and held my hand. And it was lovely. Then the dream changed, and my baby in my dream died, and the only reason people gave a shit was because it made them lose their appetite. Hence, waking up shaking with tears.
Eh. I'm too disenchanted with life that I don't even want to figure out a possible metaphor for all of that.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Myspace is Blogspots' exiled, stupid cousin
Woah
Okay, if Dana's reading, she's gonna freak out. I'm using correct puncutation and spelling = o
minus that
but just for shits and giggles, I'm gonna name the major differences between blogspot and myspace:
- People are smarter on here
- People are funnier on here
- People are cooler on here
- People can spell
- People are seriously poetic and not being fake
- People have proper things to say
- People don't make grammar, spelling and punctuation mistakes
- People actually be themselves and share real emotion
NOW THATS OUT OF THE WAY I can stop pretending I'm intellectual. But I think I will stick with this 'correct puncutation fad'. Even though I'll be making mistakes. But it makes me look smarter ;D
I wont give up the smileys though.
I might as well add some delicious morsel of emotion on here, or else it'll be a waste of a blog INNIT.
I get frustrated not knowing what people are thinking. But then again, I'm sure I'll discard the frustration, and replace it with shame and sadness when I realise what the person is thinking is a BIG STEAMY MUG OF REJECTION. *cough* Did I just say rejection and narrow my vague statement down to a particular topic?
I make too many food/emotion analogies
I was talking to my friend, Jesse, and we were discussing Harry Potter (obviously). I think I said, kinda flippantly, "It'd be cool if Love Potion was real. There would be no worries then, right?" For those non-HP fans, if you drink Love Potion, you basically fall into deep 'obsession' with the person who gave it to you. I guess its not exactly love, as its manufactured, but eh, obsession = neediness and people like to be needed. Well, I do anyway.
Then I realised what I said, and I could think of nothing worse than tricking someone into loving you! How empty is that?! Then both of us came to the same conclusion at the same time.
"How about a potion that could make the person of your choice see you for who you are. They could see all the amazing points about you, then they would realise how great you are."
I think that would work so much better. Even if the person-of-my-choice decided, after using our potion prototype, that it still wouldn't work, I would feel some sort of closure and consolation. The thing about being rejected, or even not saying anything at all, is that you feel an almost regret; regret that you were never as sweet as you could be, or as nice as you could be, or as helpful as you could be.
But there's nothing else quite like being loved when the person hasn't even seen you at your best yet. If another person be captivated by you, and all you've done is be nervous and awkward, now thats something.
Love is a mystery, and I think I like it better that way.
Okay, if Dana's reading, she's gonna freak out. I'm using correct puncutation and spelling = o
minus that
but just for shits and giggles, I'm gonna name the major differences between blogspot and myspace:
- People are smarter on here
- People are funnier on here
- People are cooler on here
- People can spell
- People are seriously poetic and not being fake
- People have proper things to say
- People don't make grammar, spelling and punctuation mistakes
- People actually be themselves and share real emotion
NOW THATS OUT OF THE WAY I can stop pretending I'm intellectual. But I think I will stick with this 'correct puncutation fad'. Even though I'll be making mistakes. But it makes me look smarter ;D
I wont give up the smileys though.
I might as well add some delicious morsel of emotion on here, or else it'll be a waste of a blog INNIT.
I get frustrated not knowing what people are thinking. But then again, I'm sure I'll discard the frustration, and replace it with shame and sadness when I realise what the person is thinking is a BIG STEAMY MUG OF REJECTION. *cough* Did I just say rejection and narrow my vague statement down to a particular topic?
I make too many food/emotion analogies
I was talking to my friend, Jesse, and we were discussing Harry Potter (obviously). I think I said, kinda flippantly, "It'd be cool if Love Potion was real. There would be no worries then, right?" For those non-HP fans, if you drink Love Potion, you basically fall into deep 'obsession' with the person who gave it to you. I guess its not exactly love, as its manufactured, but eh, obsession = neediness and people like to be needed. Well, I do anyway.
Then I realised what I said, and I could think of nothing worse than tricking someone into loving you! How empty is that?! Then both of us came to the same conclusion at the same time.
"How about a potion that could make the person of your choice see you for who you are. They could see all the amazing points about you, then they would realise how great you are."
I think that would work so much better. Even if the person-of-my-choice decided, after using our potion prototype, that it still wouldn't work, I would feel some sort of closure and consolation. The thing about being rejected, or even not saying anything at all, is that you feel an almost regret; regret that you were never as sweet as you could be, or as nice as you could be, or as helpful as you could be.
But there's nothing else quite like being loved when the person hasn't even seen you at your best yet. If another person be captivated by you, and all you've done is be nervous and awkward, now thats something.
Love is a mystery, and I think I like it better that way.
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