Blarffugnal

I made up a new word JUST THEN ^^^ Don't you think it perfectly represents an angsty, love sick, stressed out, lost teenager? I like it =)
But whateverz. I'm happy. It's nearly the weekend and I've finished all assignments due in the next... couple of days. So no cause for celebration, I suppose. BLARFFUGNAL! I NEED TO START MY ART MAJOR.
I'm so tickled by that word.

Now to get down to the venting of emotion that blogspot lives on, this year is whizzing past. We have block in 2 weeks, which means term 1 is nearly over, which means we're already a quarter of the way through my final year of school =o
And we've gotten our Senior jerseys. Now when I see people with them on, I can barely recognise them because they look so adult-like. I dont feel like an adult! I feel exactly as I did in year 9.
Do things have to change one you leave school? Do people just naturally grow up, or is it forced up on them? I can still see myself laughing at the word 'come'. And to think in like 5 years time, I'll be in the work force. I'LL BE TENDING TO YOUR NEEDS. That freaks even me out.
BLARFFUGNAL Am I expected to NOT laugh at 'come'?!
Another thing that worries me is that adults ask each other out easily. I can't even act normal around people I find pretty. How the fuck will I survive? Is it normal to crush on people when you're 22?
I feel like I haven't lived for 16 years. 80% of people my age seem so much more experienced and grown-up. They do whatever they want, all in the name of fun. They've learnt lessons on things I just generally avoid, like drinking and forgetting what happened, or getting busted for sneaking out by their parents, or losing friends due to crazy, strange and random situations. I suppose it is worth it, in the end. There's nothing more valuable and interesting than life experience. But do I have to go through a bunch of shit to feel grown-up? Or is just living on the straight and narrow fine? It's that age old quote: Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Except we need to make it more y-generation-ey: 'Better to have drank and forgotten a good time, than to have never attended the party in the first place'
I have less than a year to clear the air with everyone (well I'm thinking of someone in particular) and stop being an emotion-coward. I have less than a year to grow some thick skin. I have less than a year to have a decent resume of life experiences that I've been too innocent, uptight, righteous, moral or bland to partake in.
I'm scared.


But, I'll look on the bright side. Something as trivial as a weekend makes me happy. So as long as I have a steady stream of weekends in years to come, I should fare alright =)